I’m guilty of not updating for a while. I was going to post a proper “Two Months on Testosterone” update next week (how time flies), but I bumped into a local friend at the gym today, and she told me she’d been reading my blog. I think I sometimes forget that people are following it, because I deliberately set it up so that it’s not interactive. Maybe I will change that in the future. But it’s lovely to know that people are reading, and are interested in following me on this crazy journey. Thank you!
So, as I said, I will update in more detail on my progress next week. But I wanted to pop in with a few things that have made me happy over the last few weeks.
My biggest excitement recently was being gendered correctly by a stranger – twice.
It’s hard to understand what a huge deal this is if you’re not transgender, but take it from me. It’s amazing. I was on a train, and the guard was checking tickets. I braced myself, ready for the (previously) inevitable “Thanks, madam,” and nearly fell out of my seat when he said, “Thanks, sir.”
I managed to play it cool and nod and grunt (because my voice would ruin things at the moment). But I actually wanted to kiss him because it was the first time that anyone has read me as male since I was twelve years old. It made me realise just how much I missed it.
Later on the same journey a bloke who wanted to take the spare seat next to me called me “mate,” so it wasn’t just a random fluke. I’m not even sure what’s changed because I don’t think I look very different to how I did a couple of months ago… but I’m not complaining.
After that, I spent two days with my sister in London and we got called the collective “ladies” everywhere we went, and I wanted to punch things while smiling through gritted teeth. But hey. Baby steps.
People who know me are gradually getting better at gendering me correctly too. I’m very forgiving, and I know it’s hard – but please keep practising using those he/him pronouns. Every time I see or hear them being used for me, it makes my day. My son gets a gold star for being the best at this so far, but my daughter is starting to remember too. She also called me a gentleman the other day (while trying to get me to fetch her something – that kid will go far), and takes great delight in bringing me jars to open and saying things like: “Come on, mum. Be a man and use those muscles.”
That’s all for now. I wrote this in a rush so please excuse any typos. I save my best editing for my work rather than my blog 😉
Glass Walls 